faint gray lines

Off Day

Samantha — Fri, 11 May 2012 03:28:50 +0000

I intended Thursdays to be my “off day” only in that I wouldn’t work out on Thursdays, but today felt like going for gold. I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep, I got to work early, I left work late because I was in the zone and didn’t have to leave for bootcamp. Now I’m up late, too. And I haven’t felt terribly hungry, so my food intake has consisted of:

a protein shake for breakfast
two packets of almonds
a handful of chocolate chips for lunch when dropping my guitar off at home
leftover chicken + Greek yogurt for dinner

Not only that, but I’ve felt “off” all day, too. I said earlier that getting older sometimes feels like going to bed in one world and waking up in another. Other people change, or maybe you change, or maybe one of you changes and the other doesn’t. You realize a problem/conflict is really only a symptom of a larger problem. Concern for a proverbial hacking cough is met with the insistence that everything’s fine.

30B430 Progress Update #10

Samantha — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:33:04 +0000

30 Before 30:

Run 5K in under 30 minutes
Complete 5 races (4/5)
Exercise 5 days a week for three months (31/60)

We’re at the halfway point on the exercising front, and I am definitely seeing progress. Clothes are finally looser. I sleep better.

That said, I am not going to beat myself up if I can’t meet the first goal. While I’m sure I’ll run a race again before, I’m scheduled to run a race the weekend before my birthday, so we’ll see. There’s still time. But if I don’t do it … I still need ten items for my 101 Things in 1001 Days list!

Cook one new recipe/fortnight (29/31)

This one isn’t quite done, but it’s close! I’ll be filling lettuce cups with salmon and wasabi mayonnaise tomorrow night, and this weekend I’m finally tackling the one thing I’ve been afraid to learn how to cook: steak.

Renew my passport

The state sent me my notice that I need to renew my driver’s license before my birthday, so I’ll take care of this item when I do that.

Learn to play a song on my guitar

I am taking my guitar to be restrung tomorrow.

Finish novel

Yeah, yeah.

“Cinco de Pain-o”

Samantha — Sun, 06 May 2012 19:03:51 +0000

So, months and months of bootcamp were thwarted by dehydration and allergies during yesterday’s 5K, and I finished eight minutes after Stephen, who hasn’t run since November, did.

After doing okay initially, my heartrate monitor started beeping like crazy around the half-mile mark and I had to slow to a brisk walk. Until the three-mile mark.

At which point I ran the remainder of the race (downhill) and my first words to Stephen were, “Water.”

My heartrate didn’t get below 165 (I aim for a minimum recovery of 155-160) until we got back to Stephen’s car, parked at his office three blocks from the finish line, and had looped around onto Demonbreun toward home.

Lessons learned:

Hydration is no joke. I need to start drinking more water than I want to a day out at minimum.
Keeping up with my much-taller husband when the first quarter-mile out of the gate is all up hill is stupid. My ass hurts.
The ample-bosomed women of Nashville need to get acquainted with Title Nine. I say that even though my trusty Enell bra holds me in such good posture that my back keeps twinging today.

The rest of this weekend is being spent as low-key as possible: knocking out the weekend chores while fajitas cook in the slow cooker. And hydrating.

If You’re Into That Whole Brevity Thing

Samantha — Thu, 03 May 2012 22:15:16 +0000

I read this today on my lunch break. While in this case it’s a screenwriter putting the kibosh on doing favors for strangers, I think all of us with a specialized skill can relate. (This is also why attorneys are usually my favorite freelance clients – they pay promptly and totally “get” how annoying/insulting it is being asked to do as a favor what you do for pay.)

But all that aside, here’s a sentence that really stuck with me.

You put me in this spot where my only option is to acquiesce to your demands or be the bad guy. That, my friend, is the very definition of a dick move.

Someone contacted me this last weekend (on non-freelance-related matters) to try to reach someone else who wants nothing to do with them and has ignored voicemails, etc. I asked to be left out of it. The person contacting me then proceeded to lie, saying they didn’t have the other person’s contact information – which, again, I know they have. When confronted with that knowledge — because I hoped this person might feel a modicum of shame over being caught in a lie, drop it, and respect my request to be left out of the conflict — this person then turned it around on me without even acknowledging the lie, wishing me well in overwrought, schmaltzy terms.

Manipulation, lie, manipulation.

But, you know, Olson just says it better. When you want me to do something for you and you approach me as if not doing what you want — and let’s face it, what the person who contacted me really wanted was for me to be their advocate with the other – makes me a bad person, you are the one who is being unreasonable.

Best Laid Plans, Etc.

Samantha — Wed, 02 May 2012 01:20:05 +0000

This week is conspiring against my wellness efforts. First, my seasonal allergies that always flare up at the end of April/beginning of May were flaring up so much that I skipped bootcamp Monday morning, then a rainy forecast led me to switch to evening bootcamp today. It turned out to be lovely all morning.

I lucked out, though. Today was an extremely productive day at work, so I was able to shut it off in time to change and fight through construction traffic to the gym, where I took out my frustrations with wayward code on the treadmill.

I feel better when I run than I did a few months ago, but my heartrate monitor beeped at me a few times tonight and I backed off the intensity. No telling whether that was because the gym was so hot or because the chest strap now fits better and doesn’t ride up onto my bra – where it can’t monitor my pulse – anymore.

Ugh. I had so much more on my mind but it’s all gone after running. I suppose that could come in handy, but not when I hoped to write!

Adjusting

Samantha — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:32:34 +0000

I’ve been tired and distracted all day. Even though I got eight hours of sleep. I think it’s allergies, in part – I am, after all, doing mat work outside at the exact time grass is doing it – but also it’s adjusting to the new normal of kickstarting my metabolism at dawn. Ordinarily, a banana, a protein shake, and a coffee would be enough to last me through until lunch. Today, I was sitting at a learning event, seriously pondering eating one of the giant pastries on the front table — even though I have yet to do any reintroduction of gluten into my diet in at least six weeks — because I was so hungry that I felt like I was going to be sick anyway.

On the way back to the office I picked up and promptly ate 1,000 calories’ worth of lunch: some tilapia and steamed broccoli … and two giant gluten-free cookies. And then I kept eating string cheese I’d intended to be my snack stash for the rest of the week.

This is not sustainable. I need to eat reasonable portions that actually sate my hunger.

The bootcamp instructor suggested eating more protein in the morning, so I’ll be taking hard-boiled egg whites for a mid-morning snack. I’m also baking salmon for Stephen’s dinner tonight and my lunch tomorrow (which counts as a new recipe, as I’ve never prepared any fish not in stick form).

Tomorrow isn’t a big day, but it is larger than most days. It will be the first time I make it to a young nonprofit professionals event. I will also be running an errand on lunch that is long overdue. It’s all part of thinking of everything as a marathon, not a sprint. Pacing myself, etc.

Except, unlike this weekend’s marathon, I don’t plan to be on the sidelines watching everyone else run by.

Another Boring Exercise Post

Samantha — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:12:33 +0000

Today was the first day of morning bootcamp. Clearly, I survived. I don’t think I was awake enough to realize that I was exercising – definitely not until I was in the middle of my eighth modified push-up on my yoga rug, which I’d spread out over the dew-covered overgrown outfield. Then I thought, “Wait, I suck at pushups,” and caught my breath in child’s pose.

It was cold, but I’m sure I looked like a hot mess when I walked into the coffee shop an hour early.

Today also involved a lunch-break excursion to inflate the tire on my car that keeps slowly losing air. Not so easy to do in heels. Sorry, everyone driving through Five Points who saw me bent over in a completely unflattering pose.

I’m interested to see how I feel tomorrow. Running on a field is tougher on joints and requires better proprioception than running on a treadmill. Pacing is also not my strong suit. I got lost in thought during one trip to the other side of the field and ended up in a hard sprint to get back to my mat in time.

I have an off-site event in the morning, so this evening will be spent watching hockey with Stephen and getting ahead on work tasks … at least, until holding my eyes open requires toothpicks, which may not be too much longer.

Boring but Truthful

Samantha — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:25:29 +0000

So today this happened a few feet away from my office:

After the water was shut off, I ended up spending the afternoon working from the coffee shop. It was surprisingly productive. I’m not sure if it was the change of scenery, the loud hipster music I’d never choose for myself, or the blast of sunshine.

And now I’m whiling away the embers of the evening doing chores and eating leftover fajitas and maybe getting in bed early before tomorrow’s run.

Food is Fuel

Samantha — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 04:05:58 +0000

Food is fuel. This is something actual athletes remember but something I never quite learned. Growing up, the only vegetables at our dinner table were iceberg lettuce and canned corn. The only time we ate broccoli was as part of a casserole called “broccoli bake,” where it was drowned in cream of mushroom soup and cheese and smothered in white rice.

So, yeah. I’m not sure if the last few days of extreme fatigue are pollen-related or if I just wasn’t eating enough. Considering how much better I felt this evening after we went out for chicken fajitas without tortillas or rice (and apparently chicken fajitas are all I want to eat this week, as I just made them on Tuesday), I’m thinking the fatigue is just the consequences of not taking a proactive approach to my meals now that convenience foods aren’t an option. I haven’t taken my lunch all week. I’m not eating breakfast. I consider, briefly, ordering pizza with a gluten-free crust before I leave work, then I don’t do it.

I will be spending some time this weekend planning next week’s meals, for certain.

Serious Business

Samantha — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 03:34:08 +0000

Not even a late-afternoon glass from a coworker’s Diet Coke stash could lift me out of the riptide of exhaustion that pulled me under the moment I got home. I put my things down, removed my jewelry and shoes, and dove into bed for the serious business of an underwear nap at 5 p.m.

I’ve only been up for an hour and I’m about to head right back.

This week has been weird and today has been weirder. The goal, of course and always, is learning how not to get knocked over by the flow if I’m not going along with it, whether that’s by choice or not. Sometimes it happens anyway. Sometimes it leads to doing things you’ve only thought of doing.

And then there are also days where you find out that there’s an independent film set in your college town because the director knows someone you once knew.

I need to get to the gym before my legs atrophy. I need to get some of these book ideas down on paper. But, most pressing of all, I need more sleep.